“Everything good”. “Anything”. “But yes”. “Boh I do not know…”. These are just some of the facets of the answers to the big question that every day we make to our children: “How was your day?” . Whether it’s the school, soccer training or karate lesson, or even the day spent with friends, you can’t miss it: children often don’t seem to want to tell us anything. They wriggle, they answer distractedly, they avoid long answers …
And we resign ourselves after a while. And we get frustrated, let’s face it. Because we would like to take away everything we can, to know every detail, every minute! And not just for control (or at least not usually), but simply because they REALLY care about their day.
So how do you make the children tell us how it really went, that they really give us an answer? Here are some tricks.
How to get children to tell how the day went: the strategies to ensure that children really answer the question “how did it go today?”
Wait a minute
Exactly, wait, be patient: sometimes our frenzy to know leads us to ask “how did it go?” As soon as the children get into the car outside school, or as soon as they set foot in the house after a day with friends, or gym locker room. But like us adults they too relax for a moment as soon as the activities end, and maybe they simply don’t have the strength or the desire to respond at that very moment. Just like when, for example, we leave work after an important day in a meeting: if someone immediately asked us “how did it go” we would answer unconsciously a little listless, while after a relaxing shower and in front of the dinner we would have more desire and strength than talk about it, with a little more enthusiasm and a clearer mind.
Speak to us first of our day
As often happens, the example is the best method of education, because our children very much imitate what we do. So if we first put ourselves in a position to share, then they too often follow our example. Before asking: “How did it go?”, Let’s try to talk about our day. “You know, today I took a walk for lunch. At work it was a bad day, but it did me a lot of good. Ah, and the copier has jammed in the office! “. They are all small insignificant details, but detailed and specific. But the question “And your day instead how did it go?” The children will feel more involved and listened to, sharing bilaterally, not feeling “under interrogation”. And it’s a habitual exercise:
Go ahead for specific questions
Sometimes it is enough to focus on specific questions and not on the generic and classic: “How did it go?”. “Did you make the tables at school today?” “Did you have fun painting with watercolors?” “Did you have a fight again with Giulio or did you just have fun today?” And again: “Did you learn something new today?” “What is the best thing about the day? And the less pleasant one? “. In this way they will also learn to express (and codify) their emotions.
Understand fatigue and put off
In this case, what we put in place is empathy and availability. When a child is visibly tired and doesn’t feel like talking, let’s try to understand it right away. Usually, it is when it responds to monosyllables. Let us therefore understand that we have understood his state: “You are tired, I see it, who knows how many things you did today. You will tell it to me when you feel it. ” Simple but effective.